"Do No Harm"

“Do no harm”

We have a silent suffering among us that has extended beyond a bully on the playground. When relationships become challenging, disagreements occur, misunderstandings happen; instead of having the difficult conversations people are “ghosting” or “cutting” people off. While silence may feel like self-protection, it often becomes a quiet wound to those left without explanation, closure, or care. The words of John Wesley come to mind, “Do no harm.”

Scripture reminds us that the way of Christ is not the way of avoidance but the way of engagement, truth, and reconciliation. God does not ask us to run from difficult relationships. Instead, He gives us a path for healing:

Go directly - “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Matthew 18:15

Be reconciled - “First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:24

Speak truth in love - “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31–32

“Ghosting” abandons these commands because it leaves no space for truth, repentance, or forgiveness. It offers no path for reconciliation. It halts the possibility of God’s restoring work.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer remind us: “We are members of one another. To live in community means to confront, to forgive, and to preserve fellowship.” His insight echoes the biblical truth to pursue peace through honest connection rather than avoidance.
When we “cut off” communication without explanation, we may soothe our momentary discomfort but create deeper fractures in the body of Christ.

Jesus confronted the Pharisees with clarity, questioned His disciples with patience, restored Peter after betrayal, wept with Mary and Martha, and even on the cross He spoke words that opened the door to reconciliation: “Father, forgive them.” Jesus never avoided people to escape discomfort, He moved toward them with compassion. Love compels engagement and restoration.

There are times when healthy boundaries are necessary, especially in cases of abuse or harmful behavior. But even boundaries can be communicated with clarity, peace, and dignity. The call of Christ is not to disappear, but to love well, speak truthfully, and pursue reconciliation where it depends on us (Romans 12:18).

May we be people who refuse the easy exit and instead follow the One who entered into our brokenness with courage and compassion. In Christ, we find the strength to engage, the humility to listen, and the grace to heal.

Just a little something to think about! Maybe the greatest gift you have to give this Christmas season is to engage in the restoring gift of reconciliation.